Springfield Pastors Build Altar to Ishtar
Springfield Pastors build a bonfire to celebrate Pride Month.
The Springfield Pastors, about 450 of them, gathered around the Missouri State Football Field to have a giant bonfire. They had decided they were going to carry on with a great celebration for Pride Month with a large fire that could be seen all the way to Ozark, Nixa, Willard, and Republic.
It was important that the communities around Springfield learned to fall in line and celebrate Pride like they did. Each of them were praying earnestly and loudly for everyone to see. They wanted the whole world to see their prayers as a witness of their purity.
While they were praying, a lone man sat at the other end of the field. He had a pile of wood and was pouring water over it. He had even added a side of beef to his. But he had no matches, or charcoal.
As the others sang and dance and cut themselves, he sat quietly humming. He was a tall man with dark skin. He was kind and had a gentle smile.
The Springfield Pastors kept trying to get their fire to light. They poured gasoline on it. They threw torches. Nothing happened. The gasoline was bad and the torches went out.
They began to beat themselves and cry out even louder to the God who was Divine and Feminine. They wanted Her to come down and provide a fire for them so that all of the Greater Springfield Area could see their great love for the LGBTQia+ community. They wanted everyone to know they loudly proclaimed their love.
The sole man on the other end in the dark continued to pour water on his simple wooden altar. The beef didn’t look like it would burn at all. The tall man yelled out to the other pastors.
“Where is your Divine Goddess? Why doesn’t she come down and start your fire for you? Is she getting her nails done? Does she have an appointment at the spa? Or is she too busy at the gym?”
The Springfield Pastors beat themselves harder. Blood began to flow from their wounds. Nothing they did could start a fire. Their Feminine Goddess didn’t come at all.
The sole Pastor spoke a few words, “God, who is supreme, who provides salvation, and who delivers, send a fire down to show your people your power. I have done as you commanded and they are ready to see you reveal yourself.”
A bolt of fire, like a spear flung from heaven, struck the man’s altar, lighting it up. The entire city was filled with the warmth from the fire as it consumed the wood and the meat on it.
The people in the stands, who had been there for the Springfield Pastors gathered around the sole pastor. He spoke to them.
“Take these pastors out of the city. Remove their frocks and collars, their seminary degrees and titles. Cast them out and make them get jobs working with their hands.”
The Pastors were taken out of the city. The churches took the fire from the altar that still burned and lit new candles in their churches. As long as they kept those candles lit, the truth of God remained in their church and revival broke out in Springfield.
Amen.