Who is in your Library?
Have you gone up and down the stacks of your Library recently and looked at the books there? There are hundreds of new books which talk about child sex, child rape, and just plain old adult porn. I know, it’s exciting, right? As someone who cares about your children and wants to take some of the stress out of your life, please send your children to me, Jeffrey, and my common-law wife, Ghislaine. We have a history of caring for children and making sure they are introduced to the most famous men in America…or around the world.
I remember that one time we had two former presidents visit our island–but I digress. As part of our work-release program, Ghislaine and I have been given community service hours. After I declared I was Trans, people realized I shouldn’t be locked up anymore and now I’m working in libraries. “Hmmm, what’s that? My crime? Oh nothing important. Just a misunderstanding.”
Back to our tour. Ghislaine has a copy of All Boys Aren’t Blue. It’s a fantastic read for your nine-year-old child. If you will let your son, I mean daughter, sit down with Ghislaine, she will read to him about how “whiteness” is bad and how your son, I mean daughter, is really an intersectional teenage girl. Ghislaine just loves teenage girls.
Or maybe your son isn’t ready to transition yet and we should soften him up a little. Bring him over here. He can sit on my lap while I read Flamer to him. In this book, it teaches teenage boys to dump their cum into a bottle and force other boys to drink it. Or maybe your son would like to read about big, hairy dicks? I can already tell how excited you are to help him realize he’s really gay and not just insecure, hurting, or traumatized by his parents.
If neither of those books work for you, let me take your son, I mean daughter, back to the children's section where we can start with a children’s book titled, Granddad’s Pride. On page 24, it shows a woman who has cut off her breasts (shame because I need breasts now that I’m a woman). It will help your son get ready for his surgery–you know the one–where we cut off his…delicacy.
Ghislaine and I are so grateful you came to our library. When you fully transition your son into a girl, make sure to bring her back. Ghislaine has this knot in her shoulder and could really use a massage. We just love children here at our library and we won’t give up the fight to trans or queer your child. Because as our benefactor, Emily Drabinski states, “we need to recenter libraries around queerness.”
Copyright © 2023 by David Rice
